When it is the right time to have a second child

Many parents would like to have a second child. But some try to minimize the possible age difference while others, on the contrary, constantly put off the next pregnancy and come up with a whole bunch of "valid" reasons. But there are those who are trying to find a middle ground when the birth of another child will be most successful from all sides.

To determine the most crucial moments in dealing with upbringing two children, we divide the possible differences in age between children into four groups. Each group has its own difficulties and advantages.

  • From one to two years: difficult for parents, but good for both babies.

With such a small difference in age, children are likely to be close friends. Their interests overlap: they can share toys, have common friends and play on the same playground. Of course, they will sometimes quarrel and even fight. But they have no sense of rivalry for parental attention and love. The older child is not yet aware that all the attention of mom can belong only to them. Therefore, there is almost no jealousy. Although the first time the firstborn will perceive the newborn as a doll and, showing natural curiosity, can harm the baby.

  • From three to five years: it is difficult for the older child, and for the younger and parents well.

In the age of three or four years, the feeling of rivalry develops in a child. Jealousy and the struggle for parental love is a rather natural phenomenon, it only manifests itself in different ways. Initially, a kid will perceive the newborn brother or sister as an opponent: first, they will fight for parental attention, then for their former toys and personal space. The older child may begin to look for various ways to protest and attract attention to their persona.

For parents, this age difference does not cause any particular difficulties. Mom has already recovered after giving birth and a new pregnancy will not be a shock to her body. In the age of 3-4 years, the parents can already explain to the child that the mother is waiting for a brother or sister. And if they do everything correctly, the older child will be looking forward to the baby’s birth too.

  • From six to ten years: problematic for both children, but comfortable for parents.

The greater is the age difference between children, the easier it is for parents. There is an opportunity to fully enjoy the development of the child, to see how they grow, and to give them maximum attention. The older child is already completely independent and in many respects can take care of himself.

  • From eleven to fifteen: good for the younger and for parents, and problematic for an older child.

With such a difference in age, the older child may perceive the newborn as a burden and an obstacle to his usual lifestyle. At the same time, the teenager will pretend that nothing matters to him, but in fact, his indifference is most likely ostentatious. He just does not want anybody (including parents) to notice his feelings. The teenager will try in every way to minimize contact with the newborn. When the younger one grows up a bit, their relationship will rather resemble the relationship of the student and the teacher. Although, later they will finally feel the full power of sibling’s love and trust.